Trying to practice what I preach

So I post all those wonderful quotes from Pema Chodron then have an event happen that makes me realize how hard it is to practice what I preach. (Or what Chodron preaches! :-)) I was asked to write an article - I wrote it. Someone else edited it - A LOT - with out telling me and it was sent to print. Now the final article was fine - it just wasn't my article. At first I was furious. Then I realized it was just my ego that was pissed. Someone didn't think my article was good enough so it was changed. That's a blow to my ego for sure. There is the principle of the thing though, when I write for other publications, there are always edits, but the editors ALWAYS let me know they've made the edits so I'm not blind sided when I read the article.

Is any of this a big deal? Not really. It's just a lesson for me in what makes me angry and what's really worth getting angry about. After being mad and thinking of hundreds of inappropriate ways of showing my anger :-0, I'm now just letting it go. (at this moment anyway)

Overcoming self-deception

One more from Pema Chodron:
"The essence of bravery is being without self-deception. However it is not so easy to take a straight look at what we do. Seeing ourselves clearly is initially uncomfortable and embarrassing. As we train in clarity and steadfastness, we see things we'd prefer to deny- judgementalness, pettiness, arrogance. These are not sins but temporary and workable habits of mind. The more we get to know them, the more they lose their power. This is how we come to trust that our basic nature is utterly simple, free of struggle between good and bad. "

We can help this troubled world

Quote from Pema Chodron for today:
"We all have the inborn wisdom to create a wholesome, uplifted existence for ourselves and others. We can think beyond our own little cocoon and try to help this troubled world. Not only will our friends and family benefit, but even our 'enemies' will reap the blessings of peace. If these teachings make sense to us, can we commit to them? In these times, do we really have a choice? Do we have the options of living in unconscious self-absorption? When the stakes are high, do we have the luxury of dragging our feet?"

Just stop it already

I am guilty of this, so I'm not judging, but people need to lighten up! I know for my profession, a lot of this is the time of year. Everyone is stressed, the to-do lists are long, the students are ready for summer - it's just a crazy time. Everywhere I go lately, someone is angry about something - usually over here say. This makes me crazy! Arguments over how the 6th graders should graduate, over how they should dress for their swim party yada yada yada. Life is so short. Will these things matter a few years from now? (Even a few days from now?) Is it important for children to earn rewards or should they understand the intrinsic value of doing their best? Do we worry that 6th graders are showing too much skin and creating lust in prepubescent boys? Really?

I know I've done this - it's easier to get all riled up about these little things rather than deal with other issues. (or the lack of issues for those who love drama) We learn as parents to pick our battles - I think we need to learn that as human beings. What is worth getting really angry about - worth making phone calls, writing letters or complaining to anyone who will listen? I would think some things certainly are and the value of those things would vary from person to person - but sheesh! I guess I'm defeating my message getting so angry over other's anger. It's just so darned easy to get caught up - to ride the wave before you realize you're on the boat. My goal is to catch my self and get off the boat before it's too late....

If you feel it, Say it

The last few days were one when other people made me feel good. Now I know, we're supposed to feel good from the inside out - it doesn't matter what other people say. But let's face it - we're human and it matters. My recent weight loss has led to many compliments - which I most definitely enjoy - but we all know how short lived weight loss can be. :-) I've been skinny, I've been fat - I suspect I'll be both over and over through the years like I have been my whole life.

The moments that have made me feel good the last few days though, are the ones when people took the time to care, or to tell me the affect I've had on their life or their child's life. Everyone who knows me, knows I love to be the center of attention - I admit it. (Sometimes I wonder if that's why I manifested these hideous hives into my life - maybe they would go away if I stopped talking about them to anyone who will listen....) But, something goes much deeper when a person who doesn't know you well, or who doesn't need to take the time to share a thought - takes the time to say a kind word.

I try to do that with others - but the last few days have been a lesson to me. It doesn't matter if I know a person, or even if I'm a big fan of them, I'm going to take the time to share a positive thought or let them know the ways they have touched my life positively.

Great Mother's Day

What a wonderful day! My daughters made me this adorable video. They rapped, talked, filmed the animals and pretended to have them talk, put in pictures - it was incredibly sweet. Then we all went to the garden shops and got all our planting for our garden and a few other areas in the back yard. We spent all day planting - I can't wait to see what we get out of our expanded garden this year!

It has been incredibly warm the last couple days - YAY! No serious hives, just a few in the mornings and evenings. We went to our first Aces game yesterday. SO MUCH FUN! Very family oriented and just a great way to spend the afternoon.

Feeling like I got my Vitamin D this weekend with all the sun - finally!

Keep Going

My grandmother had a sign on her kitchen table (now it sits in my aunt's kitchen window) that if I remember correctly it said "Keep going" or "Keep moving" something like that. It was a reminder that no matter what is happening to just keep keeping on. I thought of that yesterday. I've been waiting for blood test results for over a week. The test was for a variety of things - the least of which was rheumatoid arthritis. (Which my grandmother was crippled with)
The worst of the possibilities was some sort of cancer with a very long name. Certainly I wanted the test to be negative, but I also wanted a reason for all my ailments. I finally got the call yesterday that the test was negative. I was relieved - then frustrated. I know spiritually speaking that I don't need to know what is causing this - I just need it to go away. I need to release it and be well. BUT, can I get better if it isn't discovered what's causing it?

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself - again - when I read Kristin's blog. I've written about her before, she's been battling cancer for over a year. Besides trying to regain her health and having to worry about every small ailment and what it might mean, she has girls in the hall at school making fun of her walk. (Her step has been affected by treatment) Once again, the universe has found a way to put things in perspective for me.

B has her first track meet of this year today - looking forward to it. K's team won yet another soccer game last weekend. This weekend they have two - looking forward to those as well.

Getting my hair cut today - thinking about a big change. I need to shake things up......