Thursday, September 25, 2008

Another day

It's Thursday and my day off. It's my long weekend week. I had yesterday off too. Yesterday I worked out then basically did nothing at all. I had a list - my forever long, never ending list - but only accomplished one thing on it. It was only a phone call, so I could do that from the recliner in which I had planted my butt. I think we all need these days occasionally. I think I take them a little too frequently and then feel the day has been wasted. It creates a vicious cycle.

I picked B up from school yesterday. I listened to the woes of being a middle school girl. Who is feeling left out of what, who called who a word that can only be spelled to mom - not repeated...
I don't know about you, but I have to stop myself from trying to fix everything. I have to do a mental check and keep myself listening, nodding, patting her hand..... I want to tell her all my experience with these things. I want to share how I too had these middle school moments but I came out the other side and look how amazing my life is now! :-) There are two problems with this approach - one is that right now she doesn't care, she's just bummed and wants to feel that way. The other - I'm not sure she's all that impressed with how my life has turned out! :-) Someday she'll look back and realize all that I juggle, all that I've accomplished. Right now she sees a mom who works a couple days a week, writes for some magazines sometimes and who drives her around. Some days that's all I see too - then I see what I've accomplished as a teacher, a writer, a mother, a wife.... I look at her, I look at K - I see what amazing young ladies they are and while they may have just been born that way - I think Dan and I can take some credit for how things are coming along. :-)

The things going on in a middle schooler's life seem so huge to them. We've been there, done that and we know life goes on. They don't. They are right here, right now - thinking life can't get any worse and will never change. I forget that sometimes. The issues my girls bring up seem so trivial to my adult mind and I forget how huge they are in theirs.

Today was a new day. B smiled on the way out the door and gave me a hug that said "thanks for being there" with out having to say the words. K is still getting ready for school but she handed me a letter she has to write me every week. It's a school assignment and I have to write her back every week. It's a great idea - I don't always like having homework too, but I like writing her and reading what she has to say. She wrote all about a cousin she is proud of - very cute. Then she wrote all about how she would have chosen me, but the reasons would have made the letter too long. (okay, let's hear the collective "ahhhhh....") Those hugs, those letters - they make the moments of rolling eyes, wet towels on the floor and bickering - all worth it.

Quick political note - Don't vote party lines - read all the facts, go to the candidate's websites, LEARN - educate yourself on what's really happening and what we're facing. The United States is swirling down the crapper - the only way this is going to change is we vote and speak up. I personally feel Obama is the only one who has a chance to turn things around. If we vote for McCain, the world is going to look at the U.S. and think - "here we go again..." This is just my opinion based on my values and beliefs. Obama's the man I want representing me. The great thing about living here is that we have a choice and we have the freedom to speak and believe what we want. Use your freedom and voice - VOTE!!!

I'm working very hard these days to remember to be grateful. It's the crazy time of the year when I get in function mode and don't take the time to breath and remember how incredibly grateful I am. (Some days it's just because I CAN breath. :-) ) Each morning I make a mental list - it helps me step out of bed with a smile instead of a groan. If I turn on the news, that mental list gets longer because I know there are so many people worrying about their retirement, their health insurance, the roof over their heads.... okay - stop me there or I'll start on politics again.

I'm reading another Kris Radish book - Annie Freeman's Traveling Funeral - it's a tear jerker but another one that makes me take a second to remember what's important in life....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Back Again

It's been a while. I've been busy getting back into the swing of school and work. I find so much comfort in routine. I like having my calendar out - seeing what's happening when, knowing what to expect. I dream about being spontaneous, foot loose and fancy free - but the reality is, I can only handle that in brief spurts.

There's no escaping the presidential election and since this is my blog - I'm going to vent about this. Anyone who knows me knows I'm an Obama fan through and through. I really like Joe Biden too, so it's clear where my vote is dedicated. I do have disappointments about how his adds are currently turning too negative. I don't mind a negative ad if it is tempered with information about how the candidate it supports can do better. Negative for the sake of negative just pisses me off.

I've been having debates with my trainer (yes, I go to a trainer - no it isn't obvious in my appearance, but it is in my strength and stamina. :-)) about who would be our next president. He is someone I respect as a trainer , but his views frighten me. I'm guessing mine frighten him so it all balances out. However, the things I hear from him, seem to be the general Republican view of "every man for himself" and that America is superior to all other countries. I agree that we need to work on a society that is filled with problem solvers and thinkers vs one that us filled with people who want to be taken care of - however, we are all human beings. This isn't a bleeding heart thought - it is reality. Oy, I'm starting to get angry just typing this. I have a problem articulating my thoughts when I get this frustrated.

This came up this morning because it is September 11th and my 6th grader was instructed to wear red white and blue today. She had lots of questions because she was so young when the twin towers were attacked. The point I really wanted her to understand is that we have an opportunity to create a future that will mean her children won't be reading about more violence in their history books. If we all made more effort to communicate, to see both sides of issues - even when we don't agree - maybe we could get to that place - REALLY GET THERE - where we all use our words instead of guns. Why is that so unrealistic?

I'm rambling and not making clear arguments. My heart aches for all the families who are missing their loved ones today - either because they lost them 7 years ago, or because they lost them recently or because they are away fighting the war - it was a sad and horrible tragedy.

Maybe the lesson we all need to remember today is the importance of enjoying each moment, telling the people we love how we feel, no wasting energy on fear or anger. Let's not focus or perpetuate fear - let's celebrate life and each moment well lived......