Speak No Evil

Those of you who know me, know I had a rough go with my mother-in-law on my birthday in July. I have spoken to her only once since. I have encouraged my husband and children to have a positive and productive relationship with her but I have removed myself from the equation. Soooo, here come the holidays. It is our usual course of action to go to her house sometime after Christmas during the school break. Our plan is to this year the day after Christmas. I thought about not going, just sending Dan and the girls. Dan asked me to go, the girls begged me to go, so I decided to go for them. Then we got a card in the mail from her and along with lots of other stuff, it said, "and Troy, thank you for the best present of all, your presence." Now, from the outside looking in, that's kind of sweet. From my perspective and knowing her like I do, it's a condescending dig.

The woman is over 80 years old. The signs she is losing her mind have been apparent for all the years I have known her. I still harbor a great deal of hurt and anger but the only one it's hurting is me. There is no satisfaction in it. She isn't affected by it at all. So I need to let it go, but how do I do that I keep my pride? How do I go down there and smile and be there for the girls and Dan and speak no evil? I need to - I know it will serve no purpose to say or do anything about this. I'm grinding my teeth already. This will be a real lesson for me. Can I be the person I wish I was? Can I fake it until I make it?

For now, I will just pray for snow so I can put it off a little longer.