Age/favorite birthday gift/define happy

Well, tomorrow I turn 42. It seems like such a strange number to be. There are a lot of ages that create a picture in your mind's eye. 20 makes you think young, care free, with the whole world ahead of you. 30 creates a vision of settling down, career in order... you get the idea. What does 42 look like? I just can't see it - especially when I look in the mirror. Don't get me wrong , I'm not one of those perpetually 39 kind of people. I don't fear aging. Frankly, I see it as much better than the alternative. (not aging - DEATH) I also see each year as a notch in the self esteem belt. I'm not sure if I'm feeling better about myself or caring less what others think - either would be positive I think.

However, I do start to wonder if I'm doing all I'm "supposed" to do. Am I living life as it should be lived? Who has the answer to that? I think "supposed to" and "should" are words to eliminate from the English language - along with GUILT! That's what I want for my birthday - can any of you gift that to me?

On a lighter and less self-indulgent note - I won $220.00 tonight! I went gambling with my parents while Dan and the girls worked on my birthday surprises for tomorrow. The best is that I won it on a PENNY machine! Too fun! (wait a minute- was that less self-indulgent or more?)

I'm wondering what you all feel is the best birthday gift you've ever received. I have a couple and they are corny. Dan proposed to me right before a birthday and I found out I was pregnant with Bailie at the next one. Those were pretty terrific gifts. The corniest though is my favorite gift is when people remember. The phone calls I receive from friends I haven't talked with in a long while (thank you Elizabeth and Tami!), cards in the mail, emails. I'm such a Leo - that attention makes my mane swell! :-) So when you have time, let me know what you think you're favorite birthday gift was....

You know what else I have been wondering - (lots of time on my hands!) how would you define "happy?"